Moving Out & Moving On
This past year and a half I have realized that I am the epitome of a "home body". I would much rather stay in with my dogs and Harry potter than out partying with people I feel totally uncomfortable with. I just like the familiarity of my house and the routine that I do every night. This is probably why I had struggled and dragged on moving out until the last minute. It was also one of the reasons I decided not to go to a big university where I would be forced to be surrounded by 30,000 students every day.
Moving out of my parents house was probably the hardest thing I've done. And even though I hadn't been in my room for much longer than a year I felt such a connection to everything in it. I loved my bed, pictures, and every little nik nak I had in there. So packing up everything and knowing that I wouldn't be coming back to that same room on holidays or long weekends made it so much harder to pack up everything.
Moving out also meant saying goodbye to my friends. All three of them. I knew that when summer ended everyone would be going to school and we would all be apart until we got together back at home during holidays and breaks. Another reason it was so hard to leave. I knew I wouldn't be coming home for the summers to catch back up with everyone.
Moving day arrived and as much as I dreaded it, I had a small ray of excitement. I was excited to start this new adventure and to see what God had planned for me. We moved everything in and then went grocery shopping. Another one of the hardest things I've had to do (LOL). It's hard shopping for food for just one person. Especially since I was only familiar with buying gum and banana chips from Meijer.
Night one alone and I didn't sleep. I woke up every hour worrying about the doors being locked or my tv being on and the electric bill I was racking up from it. Every thing bothered me. In the morning I shopped and did major retail therapy to avoiding thinking about going home to an empty apartment.
The boyfriend came up for a few hours the first weekend here and last minute I decided to ride home with him because I was so scared that when he would leave I would be sad and lonely again. On our way back home that night I was getting excited to be back and to be with my dog and in a familiar place again. Then I realized that that feeling was temporary because I wasn't home for good. I would have to leave soon and I would only be a visitor to that house from now on. I then proceeded to spend two days at my parents house and
slowly avoided going back up to the apartment.
I'm still learning to live on my own. I have barley eaten any of the food I bought because my routine and schedule is so messed up from me sleeping in so late every day and not being hungry when it's dinner time. I'm still slightly scared to use the oven because of how ancient it is. I've also just used my washer and dryer for the first time today. It's not that I don't know how to do laundry or cook, I'm just so scared something will explode or set on fire and then I'll be left with nothing (because who has renters insurance anymore).
I haven't had any dance parties yet and I don't like watching movies very loud because of my silent fear that my neighbor will be knocking on my door asking me to quiet down. I've been looking at bunnies to get so they can keep me company but then I realized that it's extra $$ (that I don't have) to take care of them and have them living with me.
Moving out of my parents house was probably the hardest thing I've done. And even though I hadn't been in my room for much longer than a year I felt such a connection to everything in it. I loved my bed, pictures, and every little nik nak I had in there. So packing up everything and knowing that I wouldn't be coming back to that same room on holidays or long weekends made it so much harder to pack up everything.
Moving out also meant saying goodbye to my friends. All three of them. I knew that when summer ended everyone would be going to school and we would all be apart until we got together back at home during holidays and breaks. Another reason it was so hard to leave. I knew I wouldn't be coming home for the summers to catch back up with everyone.
Moving day arrived and as much as I dreaded it, I had a small ray of excitement. I was excited to start this new adventure and to see what God had planned for me. We moved everything in and then went grocery shopping. Another one of the hardest things I've had to do (LOL). It's hard shopping for food for just one person. Especially since I was only familiar with buying gum and banana chips from Meijer.
The boyfriend came up for a few hours the first weekend here and last minute I decided to ride home with him because I was so scared that when he would leave I would be sad and lonely again. On our way back home that night I was getting excited to be back and to be with my dog and in a familiar place again. Then I realized that that feeling was temporary because I wasn't home for good. I would have to leave soon and I would only be a visitor to that house from now on. I then proceeded to spend two days at my parents house and
slowly avoided going back up to the apartment.
I'm still learning to live on my own. I have barley eaten any of the food I bought because my routine and schedule is so messed up from me sleeping in so late every day and not being hungry when it's dinner time. I'm still slightly scared to use the oven because of how ancient it is. I've also just used my washer and dryer for the first time today. It's not that I don't know how to do laundry or cook, I'm just so scared something will explode or set on fire and then I'll be left with nothing (because who has renters insurance anymore).
I haven't had any dance parties yet and I don't like watching movies very loud because of my silent fear that my neighbor will be knocking on my door asking me to quiet down. I've been looking at bunnies to get so they can keep me company but then I realized that it's extra $$ (that I don't have) to take care of them and have them living with me.
It's lonely here but maybe in a few weeks when I have a job and school to worry about I'll enjoy the peace and quiet. But for now I'll just take in the feeling of nothing to do but build puzzles and watch Friends.
Thanks for reading :)
xoxo- Leah
Love it.
ReplyDeleteWhile everyone was asking me if I was sad about your graduation or if I cried during the ceremony, I did not. I was so proud of your high school accomplishments but I was excited for the next phase of life that you were about to embark on. And to be honest, my heart really knew that "Moving Day" was going to be the kicker.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I know you'll be able to take care of your daily needs, I've grown very fond of the friendship that we formed over the years, and I knew that I was going to miss you so much more than I ever thought possible. My little girl and my best friend were leaving. Sure, you'd spent many nights away from home, at a friends, your dads, and away on vacations, but the first couple of nights you stayed at your own apartment left me feeling uneasy. I wasn't too scared or worried about your safety but more that I wouldn't be right there if you needed me. I know that sounds silly because we live in a time when our cell phones are practically attached to our hands and if they're not, we have these crazy watches that keep us constantly connected. Even so, I knew things weren't going to be quite the same.
When I heard you wanted to come home for the weekend, it was almost as if we hadn't seen you in months (even though it had really only been a couple of days). I had one of those mom moments - drop everything, "Leah is coming home for the weekend!" I had to laugh when you asked if it was okay to come back and if we'd drive you home again but at the same time, you must know that you never need permission to come home! While your room in the basement may not be exactly what it was like this past year, you'll always have a room at the house and a place to call HOME!
XOXO
~Momma