What Am I Doing?

It was about 6 months ago when I realized I had no hobbies, likes, or things I thoroughly excel in. This soon led me to tears and complaining to my mom that my life is empty and I have nothing that I enjoy or live for. That may seem dramatic but it seemed accurate. I think this emptiness was partially due to the fact that I was working at a laundromat, not doing anything but wasting time and hating every minute of it, and sitting at home waiting for my friends to MAYBE invite me to hangout. Now, I'm not blaming this empty feeling on my friends or the fact that I had to grow up and get a job. I just really realized that everyone was doing something they enjoyed and I just couldn't find my "thing". 

SO, lets rewind about 6 years ago when I was the awkward seventh grader with bangs just trying to find my "thing". It was a random night and I was scrolling through YouTube watching funny cat videos (or something like that) when I came across a teenage girl showing off all of her makeup. That soon turned into me watching her put on makeup, then talk about all the things she bought, and then even show me whats in her bag. I had soon discovered a whole world of people making money to be creative and show other people what they love. THAT is what I wanted to do. So there I am, little Leah talking in front of a small camcorder I asked for for my birthday. I saved up all of the pocket change I had just to start the basic makeup kit with hard candy blush and NY Colors mascara. It was the first hobby I had found and it was something completely different than what I thought a hobby could be (aka the volleyball team I tried out for and got too scared and never went back to). 

Now fast forward 6 years and here I am, about to graduate and changing my college plans last minute. Trying to find a creative outlet for my ideas and insights but struggling because reality is hitting me hard when I realize that the fantasy of becoming that famous Youtuber is not as realistic as I thought it was back in seventh grade. I had thought about starting a blog a few times. In fact, I'm pretty sure I did start one a few years back from using a spam email account. However, I chickened out and never touched that blog again. Now, a few months ago I had a few friends mention how exciting it would be to watch my life like a youtuber and I just laughed it off (but silently took it as a compliment and even considered it for a brief second). So after contemplating and avoiding the fact that this may embarrass me and there is a high possibility that this blog will never be read or even seen by anyone but my mom I have decided to create one. I am excited and already thinking of things to write about and pictures to show. No, I am not a skilled writer and I am probably the worst speller to ever pass a high school writing class. I think this blog might just be for me and a way for me to express myself and have that "thing" I've been wanting to find for the past few months. I don't even know how to use this "Blogger" type of deal but I am so excited for this! If you happen to be one of the few, or the only, person to read this then...Welcome! 

xo- Leah