THREE weeks into 2018!? How crazy time has flown away from me. It seems like just last week I was setting goals and getting prepared to kick this semester in the butt! It's said all the time, "make the moments count", "time goes by faster than you think", "enjoy it while you can". And I guess I never really listened to the people saying this. I was always so ready to move on and to start bigger and better things. So much so that I looked over each little moment and only just now realized how crazy life has been moving. Here's how the realization process of this went: I was sitting in my car, having a late night talk with my boyfriend and we ended up on the subject of old pictures and such. So he whips out his phone and starts going through all of the screenshots, snapchats, and selfies that have been taken of our relationship since the beginning. As I was sitting there looking at all of these new pictures that I had never seen before I was t...

As 2017 comes to a close and we begin a new year full of new resolutions and new standards many people are holding themselves to, I would like to take a look back on this past year and then think of my 2018 “goals”. I think this year was full of growth, self evaluation, and self discovery. I’ve become independent, like I’ve always found myself wanting to be. I grew up, moved out, and found a job I actually enjoy. I don’t live pay check to pay check and I would say I’m financially stable for being a college student paying rent every month. And I’m pretty proud of myself if I do say so myself. Not to say that any of that came easy. Just five months ago I was freaking out about not having a place to live during the school year and just four months ago I was freaking out over the price of living here. Not to say I have fully grown up. I still whine about having to work every weekend and I cry when people leave after hanging out with me here but it’s not so bad. I quite enjoy living along ...

Lately I have just been realizing that life is so much more than whatever I'm doing right now. It's so much more than just going through the motions of school, work, and the routine of my social life (or lack there of). With recently going into college and now having to decide what I'm going to do with the rest of my life I have been having these epiphanies (or so to say). They're just random thoughts and questions in my head where I ask myself if I'm happy with my life right now. And if I'm not, then why aren't I? This part in life is so full of choices. I have spent the last 18 years in the comfort of my home. A home made for me. Choices and decisions made by other people. When to go to school, what to do after school, where I'm living, what I'm doing in my free time. And for the last few years I had become so dependent on other people making decisions for me, but now that I'm on my own and making choices that will effect my life and future, ...

I don't really know how to start this.. so I'm just going to be blunt. College sucks. When I pictured college my senior year of high school I had this crazy expectation that I was going to branch out and go out of my comfort zone. I was going to make friends, the bestest of friends. But in fact, I have done the total opposite. High school was a constant battle of wanting to be alone and have my free time and me wanting to be surrounded by people and constantly be doing something. It's been awhile since I have had the feeling of friendship with a lot of people. It always felt like I was in competition with my friends friends and I was never anyone's "first choice". Now it may sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself and have nothing to do but complain but you know that feeling that you're not your best friends bestfriend? That is how I felt with everyone. There was always someone better than I was. Someone who was funnier, more adventurous, someone tha...

This past year and a half I have realized that I am the epitome of a "home body". I would much rather stay in with my dogs and Harry potter than out partying with people I feel totally uncomfortable with. I just like the familiarity of my house and the routine that I do every night. This is probably why I had struggled and dragged on moving out until the last minute. It was also one of the reasons I decided not to go to a big university where I would be forced to be surrounded by 30,000 students every day. Moving out of my parents house was probably the hardest thing I've done. And even though I hadn't been in my room for much longer than a year I felt such a connection to everything in it. I loved my bed, pictures, and every little nik nak I had in there. So packing up everything and knowing that I wouldn't be coming back to that same room on holidays or long weekends made it so much harder to pack up everything. Moving out also meant saying goodbye to my fri...

I have spent the last 7 years hiding in my own skin.   My skin during Christmas time - Junior year I started getting acne the beginning of sixth grade. It slowly progressed and became what I thought was the end of the world but was actually not even noticeable. The instant fear of being different and being the only one with acne in middle school terrified me and I instantly had my mom take scissors to my hair to create bangs to cover up the few (unnoticeable) pimples. I think I was so terrified of being different because I wasn't feeling as if I fit in. This was only the beginning.   I was so shy during middle school that being surrounded by other people who looked and just were better than me (in my opinion) terrified me.  Seventh grade was a blur and I still had my bangs. I was still awkward and still so insecure about what I hid under my hair. That's when I started learning about makeup. I had found a wonderful world of foundation that seemed to magicall...

2016 Electric Forest was single-handedly one of the best experiences I had had all summer. It gave me the highest expectations for all my other summer adventures. No, I am not as adventurous as I want to be and no, I don't have many stories to tell. So maybe I'm thinking this festival made my summer great only because, before that, I had nothing to base it off of. However, there are 4 things I've learned that remind me of just how great this festival really is: 1. The nicest people go to The Forest  Everywhere you go people are greeting you, hugging you, or smiling at you. I have never felt so overwhelmed with kindness and love by total strangers. In all of the chaos and noise of Bassnector's set my gal pal, Zo and I had decided it was time to leave and get some R&R. Since we had pushed our way through the crowd and made it to the middle of the mass of people it was a little difficult to fight the crowd to get back out. With trying to walk over top of people ...

It was about 6 months ago when I realized I had no hobbies, likes, or things I thoroughly excel in. This soon led me to tears and complaining to my mom that my life is empty and I have nothing that I enjoy or live for. That may seem dramatic but it seemed accurate. I think this emptiness was partially due to the fact that I was working at a laundromat, not doing anything but wasting time and hating every minute of it, and sitting at home waiting for my friends to MAYBE invite me to hangout. Now, I'm not blaming this empty feeling on my friends or the fact that I had to grow up and get a job. I just really realized that everyone was doing something they enjoyed and I just couldn't find my "thing".  SO, lets rewind about 6 years ago when I was the awkward seventh grader with bangs just trying to find my "thing". It was a random night and I was scrolling through YouTube watching funny cat videos (or something like that) when I came across a teenage girl sho...